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Forgiveness and Expectation 

Updates from Lexington

Dennis Campbell (Akron)

Kappa Lambda (Akron) AAB Chairman & Chapter Advisor

Assistant Director for Fraternity and Sorority Life at Kent State University

Not long ago, I sat in a room filled with fraternity men and listened to the parents of Timothy Piazza, Marquise Braham, and Max Gruver share their stories of how they lost their sons.  As I sat in the room, I could not help but think my own experiences.  From being hazed, to participating in it, then realizing how destructive it was, and now working every day to prevent it.

The parents asked us to show Love to each other as though each person was our brother from birth.  They asked us to Honor the sons of so many parents that were lost by working to prevent it from ever happening again.  Finally, they asked everyone to seek the Truth in each of us to accept anything we have done and forgive ourselves so that we could change the future.

We sometimes perpetuate what we know is wrong because it happened to us, or we did it previously and fear we would look hypocritical if we spoke against these actions. Sometimes we get caught up in the fallacy that some sort of tradition must be upheld.

Our ritual does not just require us, but demands us, to strive to be better. It requires us to work to better ourselves by challenging the status quo. Do not let your chapter’s past dictate what our future holds. We have ownership of the decisions that are made from here on out.  We control what our organization will be and how we will be seen in the future.  We must look away from the past and begin charting the course for the future.

The parents who recently lost their sons forgave everyone in the room and embraced hundreds of us, as if we were their sons, and empowered us to change what was happening in chapters across the country.  They told men to look ahead and create plans to strengthen our Fraternity. They expected us to live our values, Nothing Less.

I forgive you. Just like Maquise’s dad did when he hugged me and cried with me. In that moment, I forgave myself. When we are forgiven by the people that were hurt the most by hazing it comes with an expectation that we work together to create lasting and meaningful change. When we think about the values of Sigma Nu, there is no place within those three words of Love, Honor, and Truth that permits us to demean each other in the name of becoming a brother. Instead it inspires us to offer limitless care, unending devotion to the personal success of our brothers, and a belief in each other that we can change the world.

The parents of those young men believe in us and believe in what we can do.  We cannot let them down. We have an expectation to be better and to do better. We have an obligation to Love, Honor, and Truth. Nothing Less.

The Delta

© 2015-2022 Sigma Nu Fraternity, Inc.
9 North Lewis Street, P.O. Box 1869, Lexington, Virginia 24450
Phone: (540) 463-1869 | Fax: (540) 463-1669 | Email: headquarters@sigmanu.org

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